The children galloped and scurried on the turf-covered ground of the playground. They went round on the merry-go-round, slid down the slide, swung on the swings and took delight in candied foods. But the children did not, however, talk to the blond child by the tree. That child was the village's burden, an orphan fed and housed by the makeshift welfare state. All the children would mock him and shun him, because all the adults would tell them to. Aiden didn't know why, nor did he think it mattered. To him, that was their way, and he was fine with it.
But why was their way causing him so much harm? Why would he clutch his chest every time a parent will pull their child away from his sight?
"I never hurt them," he'd say, "but it's their way."
As the children walked home with the sun, Aiden stayed at the playground counting the falling Autumn leaves. One by one he'd count them, going down, down and down. Slowly they'd fall from a great height, but they wouldn't even dent; it amazed and astounded him. He was snapped out of his gaze, for the leaves were hidden by the moonless night.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He yelped as soon as he realised how late he had stayed out. "How'd I not see the freaking sun set?! It's the sun! Seriously!"
He pushed himself up with his hand and got up and started scrambling to get home, he didn't live far, he thought, but he had to hurry.
By the small pizzeria two corners from his house, was a broken street lamp. He was familiar with the street lamp, for some reason it's been broken for weeks. He'd hate having to walk by it, he'd always get the darkest of feelings in the pit of his stomach. He'd tell himself the street lamp was growing stones in his belly, and that he should stop passing through. It was as he was warning himself of the gut-wrenching feeling that he saw two figures under the street lamp grappling each other--fighting. As he inched closer he saw that the aggressor was a man and the victim the woman. He got closer still and recognised the woman as Ms. Packerton, his school teacher.
Ms. Packerton always took care of Aiden, she made sure he wasn't bullied at school she shared her lunch with him when he couldn't afford any and she always scolded him when he was mischievous. It was when he was remembering all that she had done for him that he felt a fire in his heart and tears on his toes.
Aiden charged, bearing a sky-tearing, God-fearing cry in his lungs; and it exploded out of him like a star out of the sky. He launched himself onto the bewildered man's back and dug his finger into his shoulders and ribs. The man wavered and swore, bashing Aiden into the lamp post. Aiden bit down on the man's neck, but the man did not take this kindly, and retaliated. The boy's back and the red-brick walls met in a heavy thud. Aiden fell to the ground in agony.
The man stood over the boy and kicked him in the stomach, but someone forgotten is someone to be wary of. Ms. Packerton gave her last-ditch effort. She threw a rock, with all her might, directly at the man's lower back. The man growled and turned his gaze to her. He walked towards the Middle school teacher, his steps tick-tocking away at the cement pavement. Slowly and meticulously he took in the victory that was teasing his fingertips.
"You shouldn't have done that, I could do this town a favour by killing that monster and get with a fine piece of ass like you in one night. Now, I might have to kill you just so you don't go yapping your whore mouth off."
He raised his hand and it hung in the air, loosely, before tensing his taut muscles and bringing it down upon Ms. Packerton.
But Ms. Packerton's skin did not break, and her bone did not crack.
Like a winged statue, Aiden held the arm of the man with one hand. His body was tense, but his eyes were relaxed. His resolve was solid and his will was ablaze. The man was confused and angry, and he shouted questions at the young boy who's endured so much.
"Why do you even care about this bitch?! You're risking your life for a person who hates you, like everyone else!"
"Because Ms. Packerton is my friend. And I will protect my friends; because that is my way!"
The man finally saw what a strong soul Aiden has when he looked him in the eye. But it was too late, for Aiden had launched his fist into the man's stomach. The man jarred and fell to the ground, his arms clamping onto his abdomen.
"Aiden..." Ms. Packerton began to utter, "...why didn't you run away?"
"Because," Aiden began, "Love came down, and rescued me."
"Why do you even care about this bitch?! You're risking your life for a person who hates you, like everyone else!"
"Because Ms. Packerton is my friend. And I will protect my friends; because that is my way!"
The man finally saw what a strong soul Aiden has when he looked him in the eye. But it was too late, for Aiden had launched his fist into the man's stomach. The man jarred and fell to the ground, his arms clamping onto his abdomen.
"Aiden..." Ms. Packerton began to utter, "...why didn't you run away?"
"Because," Aiden began, "Love came down, and rescued me."
2 comments:
Blog looks awesome. Cosmic background is amazing.
Secondly, the story is good, and the ending doubly so. However, there were some things that seemed undeveloped. While the ideas involved were completely valid and good, they were presented in an unfulfilling fashion. It sounded like you were telling the story, not the narrator. I think a story needs to have its own voice and tone.
Secondly, the conversations between the -scumbag-, Aiden and the teacher seemed a little bit long for what was going on. I'd imagine a fight like that would be much more dynamic and less fragmented. I would suggest allowing the fight to ensue, and then inserting dialog.
Sincerely, Bunny
In my first draft I didn't put much speech in, but then I thought I'd give the reader more information but you're right, it is awfully segmented. I'll try putting the speech in after. Thank you =)
Also I love cosmic backgrounds xD
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