Do you phail?

Do you suck? Do you fail at most anything and just about everything you attempt to do? Is your IQ equal to or below that of a fornicating baboon? 

Terrific. 

Well, after that little ego-slap, you'll be glad to know that you are really what makes today's modern society what it is; You are what makes the world go round. You are what gives teachers a job and hence the mere name for their otherwise non-existent occupation. You are the economy's little LEGO block. Without you, life would suck, we'd all be living in a communist society, and America would have their current president driving the nation's kids to school or picking up trash from the citizens' sidewalk. 

You see, the truth about today is brutal, yet fulfilling. It makes you hate life, but makes you feel all the more significant. Just imagine a world in which everyone had a brilliant mind. Imagine EVERYBODY had a mind as great as that of A. Einstein or S. Hawking. Nobody would settle for any occupation lesser than that upholding the title of a 'profession' (Unless of course you're a Spartan).  Nobody would ever settle for anything less than the grade of a lawyer, doctor, architect, physicist, surgeon, IT analyst, Golden Rock idol or Hollywood superstar. Thing is, in the end, all these occupations require the involvement of the ignorant, dense, empty-headed, clueless, thick and seemingly insignificant 'nobodies' (of course - to the sophisticated class of person such as the aforementioned lot) - More commonly known as 'the average Joe' or 'the middle-class'. Of course, YOU, who is reading this, are below this. You are the 'low-class'. You are society's condom; Works MOST of the time, able to purchase in bulk, hated by most everyone, prevents unwanted things from happening, cheap, and keeps everybody happy in the end once you do your job as others see fit -But most of all - You represent that tiny little element of  fear which everybody dismisses, but see significant enough to keep and not complain about no matter how uncomfortable they may be. 

If everybody sports a profession of the previously mentioned calibre - who will be left to collect our trash every morning? To drive our children to our sickeningly expensive colleges? To sweep our streets? To aggressively chop our trees down for all the scented paper we will be using for our fancy documents and invoices? To print and deliver our morning paper? Who will be left to work in the now vacant sweat-shops and stitch our soccer balls together for a quarter a day? Who will be there to milk our cows and slaughter our bulls? Who will be there to print those now obviously nonexistent 'Made in China' labels on our now no longer existing massively produced consumer goods? Heck - Who will be our new China? 

Nobody. 

This is why you are so priceless. This is why you are such a commodity. This is why the world needs you.

I love you, stupid people - You give me shit to write about.